


Nostalgia

by xBubble_Teax



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Family Feels, Fluff, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Mild Smut, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 20:57:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15737214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xBubble_Teax/pseuds/xBubble_Teax
Summary: It was strange, seeing his and Ruki's first home together become nothing more than wooden floorboards, dried up wallpaper and their belongings materialised into cardboard boxes. Reita soon found that this was their home; the parchment to which their memories were carved in... and that it was going to be hard to leave it...





	Nostalgia

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Transferred from my LiveJournal account. Written in 2012, enjoy <3

*  
  


“Dad, where can I put this?!”

Reita turns to see his son at the front door; his sneakers worn with the shuffle of boxes over empty wooden floors squeaking as he bounced against the porch. In his hands, he held an old teddy bear, with an ear missing and its blue button eye hanging by a mere thread,

“Oh Ryo, I thought you’d given that to Daddy to put in the garage sale?” Reita sighs, dropping the selection of ornaments gathered in his arms and strolling over,

“I did.” Ryo tells his father innocently, turning the bear around to smile at it, “But he told me to keep it.”

“Sweetheart…” Reita starts, taking the mangled bear from Ryo’s hands, “He’s not exactly in the best of shape.”

“I know…” Ryo confessed, as Reita’s sceptical eyes ran over the old toy, Ryo’s small six-year-old fingers folding around one of the bear’s legs,

“Dad?”

“Mm?”

“Isn’t there a nursery by the new house? Maybe we can fix it and give it to some of the kids there?” Reita smiled as Ryo’s small brow furrowed in thought, stroking the teddy bear absentmindedly, “I’d want him to go to a new home too.”

Something inside Reita warmed, standing as more removal men bustled through the door, “I love that idea, Ryo. Go put it in the back of the car so he doesn’t get lost, okay?”

“Tim.” Ryo mumbled,

“Hm?”

“ _Tim._ ” Ryo emphasised, taking back his bear, “He’s called Tim, Daddy.”

Reita chuckled as Ryo hopped down from the porch and broke into a run towards the car. Before long he could hear the excited chatter of his son, combined later with his husband; no doubt sharing his nursery idea with Ruki to gain the same approval. To this day, Reita was immensely proud to be Ryo’s father. He’d grown up to be a great kid; even at his young age.

Reita was somewhat sad that he and Ruki hadn’t managed to move house sooner; before Ryo was born. Money had been tight at the time; Ruki had just been made redundant as well as coping with the added stress of carrying a baby. Back then, moving to a new, bigger house was out of the question.

Reita’s feeling of nostalgia was pulling at his heartstrings again. His parents were still living in the same house since Reita was born. He’d grown up there, grew memories there. He just felt awful that he was taking Ryo’s away from him so early; within years Ryo was most likely to forget any time he had here. Learning to walk in the kitchen, riding his first bike out in the garden, Ruki shouting in oblivion as Ryo’s shoelace tied around the pedal and landed him face first in a rose bush; the very one of which Ruki had spent so much time trying to grow.

Reita smiled gently, his dark eyes scanning the near empty spaces of the rooms around him. It was strange; seeing his and Ruki’s first home together become nothing more than wooden floorboards, dried up wallpaper and their belongings materialised into cardboard boxes. He felt his heart sink heavy; like metal to water. Even after spending so much time wanting to move… to find a bigger place they could settle together as a family, to have  _more_ children…

Reita somehow discovered he didn’t actually want to leave this house behind,

“Hey, sweetheart, are you all packed?”

Reita coughs away the growing lump in his throat, attending to the box in front of him on the kitchen counter; reassembling the ornaments he’d abandoned moments ago in an attempt to at least  _pretend_ to be packing,

“Yeah, almost done.” He forces out hoarsely, feeling smooth hands rest lovingly on his shoulders,

“We’ll soon be out of here huh?” Ruki says happily near his ear, reaching up on tiptoes to greet the base of his husband’s neck with the delicate touch of a kiss, “Ooh, do you know if there’s any water left in the fridge?”

“About three bottles.” Reita replies mechanically, taking a last look at the photo frames inside before closing the box shut.

Ruki helps himself to one and sits on the counter beside his husband, wiping his forehead and releasing a sigh towards the ceiling. Reita was almost tempted to do the same; it had been a long day,

“I can’t believe we’re actually leaving this place.” He says at last, on the verge of tears. Ruki, as he always had done, didn’t miss it, resting harrowed eyes on his husband with concern,

“Honey?” Ruki asks tentatively, laying a hand over his own, “Are you okay?”

Reita presses his lips tight together and can’t help but let his eyes wander around the bare room, “Just feeling a little nostalgic… that’s all. I mean this was our first home together, you know? I didn’t think it’d be all that hard to leave…”

Reita breaks off and smiles, feeling so stupid. It’s just a house. He knew more memories would be made in their new place; that and it was a lot cosier and suited to their needs. He knew that Ryo would be much happier growing up there; plus Ruki would be closer to his job and they had a more suburban area where Ryo would be safer than here in the city.

Despite all this, Reita felt his stomach dip with the thought of leaving all their precious memories beforehand right here at this doorstep,

“Hey…” Ruki soothes, as tears well in Reita’s eyes, “Sweetheart, it’ll be okay! Don’t get upset.” He laughs a little, trying to lighten the mood, though Reita can’t help but remain a little glum,

“Do you remember…?” Reita sniffed, wiping his nose with the back of his hand, pointing over towards the kitchen door, “… When Ryo took his first steps there?”

Ruki’s gaze drifted in the direction of his fingers, “How could I forget?” he grins at the memory, “You almost did a power slide diving for him the minute he fell over.”

Reita glared at him as Ruki laughed into his bottle of water, “I couldn’t just let him fall against those tiles! He could have hit his head! Besides, you were soon following him around twenty-four seven once he was toddling around!”

Ruki’s head fell to the side, “Well, I have a right to be protective; I carried him for nine months!”

“ _Daddy_!!” The shout came with the sound of running footsteps, and Ryo’s fluff of dark brown hair whirled around the corner before Reita managed to bend down in time to catch him,

“Hey champ.” Reita picked him up and held Ryo at his hip, “You all packed and ready to go? Wha-? Hey! Where’d you get that lollipop from?”

Ryo continued to lick the strawberry swirl in delight, “One of the mover guys gave it to me! He said I’d been good helping pick up the boxes and he said I could have one!”

“Well, aren’t you a lucky boy!” Ruki pinches his cheek playfully, “Me and Daddy didn’t get one did we, Dad?”

Reita shook his head with a smile, “We sure didn’t. Do you think if you ask really nicely, he’ll let us have one too?”

“Nah.” Ryo replied matter-of-factly, filing his treat down to its stick rapidly, “Besides, Daddy shouted at one of them earlier for nearly dropping a mirror…”

Reita gave Ruki a hard look, the smaller man’s cheeks soon sporting a small shade of red,

“But I like that mirror!” Ruki whined back in defence, “I bought it when we went to Sendai, I can’t exactly find another one like it, can I? It was years ago when I bought it!”

“Still…” Reita persisted, furrowing his eyebrows, “You didn’t have to shout.”

Ruki merely stuck out his tongue, prompting Ryo to giggle in Reita’s arms,

“Dad, where  _is_  Sendai?” Ryo asked innocently,

“Not far from here, actually.” Reita told him proudly, “Me and your father went there on our first date.”

“Ewww!!” Ryo pulled a face, while Ruki smirked playfully,

“In fact, we were just talking about memories.” Ruki added, “You took your first steps right over there, Ryo.”

“Really?!” Ryo’s small arms pushed on Reita’s shoulders to peer past the large stack of boxes that were in his way,

“Mm-hm.” Reita nodded, “ _And_ when your Daddy was carrying you, he fell right down the stairs.”

“Pffft, Daddy!!” Ryo scolded with a chuckle, still holding his sticky lollipop in his hands and Reita grimaced as his fingers went all over his shirt,

“Not only that, but I managed to hit into your father on the way down!” Ruki giggled at the memory, as Reita walked through,

“Yep, right here.” Reita said out in the hallway, pointing up the stairs, “Daddy was  _just_ there… and I was walking right past here.”

Ryo gasped, “Did you get hurt, Dad?”

Reita shook his head, “Only a little. Though we were worried about  _you_ more.” Ryo scrunched up his face as Reita’s long finger tapped him gently on the nose,

“Yeah, well it was  _your_ fault anyway.” Ruki pouted, joining them in the kitchen doorway, “If I hadn’t have collided into you, I wouldn’t have gone into labour.”

Reita giggled, “Oh yeah, I forgot about that!”

That night certainly had been eventful. Whilst Reita was nursing a sore ankle, Ruki was soon screaming at him from the downstairs bathroom; if driving there on a throbbing leg wasn’t pain enough, having Ruki hit him, shout abuse and crush the blood circulation in his hand had soon followed six hours later.

Ryo was giggling as his parents told him the story, almost bringing tears to Reita’s eyes again,

“Despite all that, it turned out to be the best night of our lives.” Ruki murmured warmly, to which Reita indefinitely agreed.

There was a small silence as the family took a last moment to treasure the home they had been a part of. Reita was almost close to tears again when Ryo suddenly shuffled in his arms and mumbled,

“Do we really have to leave?”

Reita and Ruki exchanged a saddened look, Reita squeezing his son tighter to him, having nothing to say that would answer his question,

“You feeling a little sad about moving, honey?” Ruki moved closer to stroke the strands of Ryo’s hair as their son nodded,

“I’m gonna miss it.”

Reita kissed the top of Ryo’s head; it sounded even more heartbreaking when Ryo said it, let alone amidst the wanderings of Reita’s thoughts,

“I know.” Ruki told him, to try and comfort the both of them, “But we have a new home now. And it’s time for us to let another family build their own memories here.”

Ryo nodded somewhat slowly, “Just like we did, Daddy?”

“Just like we did.” Ruki smiled back, his hand slipping down from his hair to take Ryo’s own, “Hey honey, why don’t you go and get yourself settled in the car? We’ll be setting off soon, me and Daddy just need to take care of a few things in here first, okay?”

“’Kay.” Ryo obliges, though his voice still sounds a little dejected, his fingers lingering onto Reita’s sleeve as he’s placed back on the floor,

“…Baby?” Ruki asks, once Ryo is out of earshot, watching as Reita wraps his arms around himself; the incoming sunset casting shadows across the house that had never seemed so heart-rending before,

“This is so much harder than I thought it was going to be.” Reita admits, walking forward to sit on the steps of the stairs. He couldn’t help but break into small tears the minute he set eyes on the open front door; picturing himself and Ruki leaving for work and being hugged and kissed by each other every morning. He had remembered the first time they’d slept together too; letting a solemn smile pass over his face as he remembered the lust he had felt for Ruki that night; how he had fallen madly in love right there and then on that doorstep, as they both tumbled through with their lips still attached to each other; soon stripped of their clothes and falling to the sofa.

Ruki joins him and puts an arm around him, “I know, honey, I know.”

Reita rests his head in the crook of Ruki’s neck and allows himself to get upset; just this once. He’d loved this house; and treasured every minute inside it. At the time, it had only been a last minute arrangement as he and Ruki agreed to move in together. Reita was even overcome with emotions at the thought that he hadn’t even expected to fall in love with Ruki at that moment in time. They’d only been dating for five months, and though their feelings were strong, Reita had expected it all to fall apart the minute they’d bought the house and moved in together.

It was amazing how far his prediction had been from the truth,

“It’ll be okay, my love.” Ruki whispers against his hair, kissing the strands of blonde softly, “Once we’re settled, everything will be fine.”

 

*

 

The sex they had that night hadn’t been as meaningful as Reita had wanted it to be,

“What’s wrong?” Ruki asked underneath him, his raven hair billowing underneath his head as he lay panting and sweating from Reita’s driving movements inside of him, of which had soon slowed and slowed until Ruki had begun to notice the distraction in Reita’s eyes.

There were still boxes scattered around their new bedroom… even more boxes out on the landing… boxes in Ryo’s room.

Today, Reita had been surrounded by nothing but cardboard and he’d been sick of it,

“Sorry, baby.” He mumbled, ceasing his movements entirely, “I think I’m just tired from the move, that’s all.”

Ruki winced as he pulled out of him slowly and took his place beside his husband on the bed, sighing against the pillow. Though they had kept their old bed, Reita felt strange just lying in it; the sort of feeling you get when staying at a friend’s house or at a new hotel.

Whatever feeling was still lingering over him, Reita hadn’t a clue of how to shift it; not even love and attention from Ruki, the love of his life, could drive this uneasiness away,

“Come on, I know what’s  _really_  bothering you.” Ruki turned on his side to look at him once he’d gotten his breath back, “You’re still feeling upset, aren’t you? About having to leave our house?”

Reita met his eyes sheepishly, “I’m sorry… it’s stupid I know, I know it is –“

“ – Shh.” Ruki wrapped an arm around his waist, preventing his lover from turning around, “Sweetheart, I get it, okay? Of course you’re upset; it was your first house.  _Our_ first house even. I just wish it wasn’t that hard for you…”

“I don’t even know why.” Reita confessed, shuffling back to face Ruki again, “I was totally fine moving out of my folks’ place, and I’d spent my life growing up there. It hadn’t crossed my mind even  _once_ that, you know, it was a big deal to move out of there and… leave it behind.”

Reita tried to relax at Ruki’s hand making small circles against his lower back, even inching closer until Ruki’s lips were in close proximity of his own,

“… What are you scared of?” Ruki whispers, to which Reita immediately shook his head, having no clue,

“I don’t know.”

Ruki sighed through his nose, tilting his head to kiss Reita gently on the lips, Reita returning the kiss with so much force it had Ruki lying on his back again,

“I’ll be okay.” Reita breathes once they break away for air, “I promise, honey, I just… I guess I just worry that –“

He broke off with a grimace… what was it he was really worrying about?

“- You’re worried that we’re going to forget everything we built together.”

Ruki had it all figured out, and Reita stared down at him, stunned; the reaction of which Ruki just smiled warmly at,

“Sweetheart, that’s not going to happen.” Ruki assured him, with so much confidence, Reita’s unease made a small sideways exit, “If anything, it makes me want to start it all again. Right from the very moment we moved in together.”

Reita grinned, “Even our first time? You going to take me out to dinner and re-live that again?”

“Hell yes…” Ruki kissed Reita as his husband laughed against his lips, “Yes, I do, honey. Not only that but –“ he hesitated, though Reita stroked his cheek, giving him some encouragement, “- Rei, I want to have more children with you. I want to see Ryo’s baby brother or sister learn to walk in that kitchen. I want them to babble their first words in the bath, I want to walk through that door at the end of an evening and have them greet me with hugs and kisses the minute my foot touches that doorstep.” Ruki sounds like he’s almost in tears, and Reita feels his heart warm considerably; so much so that he can’t help but press his lips to Ruki’s forehead firmly, lingering there awhile,

“I know it was hard for you today.” Ruki says after a moment, as Reita links their fingers together, so very much in love with this man, “But I’m willing to do it all again. Here. With you and Ryo.”

Reita smiled,

“Me too...”

They kissed again, tenderly and lovingly, no longer kissing out of lust but… out of love,

“Now…” Reita couldn’t help but smirk as Ruki broke away to dust kisses against his neck,

“Let’s get to work on that little brother and sister huh?”

 

 


End file.
